Inside Family Law with Zoë Durand

“a voice, not a choice”, child inclusive mediation with Shelby Timmins at Pacifica Congress, Adelaide. Child inclusive models of practice. Parental conflict. The importance of children being heard. Historically we shut children out of the process and were talking behind closed doors. It is important (age appropriately) for children to have a voice. Shelby does not in general think children should have a choice (again being mindful of age). Often children are caught in an adult dynamic and their voice is influenced by that without understanding the consequences. How is the children’s feedback delivered to parents without creating issues or risks for them? We all need to upskill in how to allow children to have a voice safely. “Through the child’s lense” is something we all need to be able to work on. Considered in hearing from children. We need to be aware of what a privilege it is for families allow us to assist them. Research in Norway re what family is.

“Sensitive information”, parenting apps with Cassandra Soliman at Pacifica Congress, Adelaide. Cassandra Soliman from Our Family Wizard discusses why they have consistently sponsored Pacifica Congress for years. Our Family Wizard centralises all information. Supporting parents to have a more respectful dialogue. They have never had a data breach. Cassandra notes that parent are exchanging “sensitive information” and always says “you’re safe with us.” Double encryption and intrusion monitoring. Caution around “free” apps… there is “No such thing as a free app.” There is always a cost. Note that some apps sell your data. Features on Our Family Wizard include soon audio and video call. Practitioners get a copy of the transcript. Tone meter and how it works. Expenses, reimbursements managed in dashboard. Document private expenses. Discussion of future upcoming features.

“The mystique”, unpacking the loaded history of “parental alienation” with Dr Zoe Rathus AM at Pacifica Congress, Adelaide. Parental alienation. Controversial issue in family law. Parental alienation can be used by perpetrators to further abuse survivors of family law. Richard Gardener invented term and it is “highly laden with gendered ideas and assumptions” “Has never been able to shed the baggage”. Just because someone alleges alienation does not mean the Court will find this. We need to talk calmly about this issue. In reality Judges find that there has been parental alienation fairly rarely. “When it finally plays out in the Courtroom the actual results are a bit different to the mystique that hangs around the terminology” Exploring should we even still use the terminology “parental alienation”? Reject, refused, reluctance, preferred parent etc. Discussion of UK and USA and the terminology and ideas re parental alienation. Change of residence especially in USA. Term can take up a “lot of oxygen” in a case. Ie a mother who survived domestic violence, and thought the Court would look at the father’s behaviour, and instead when that term is raised the focus moves to her. Even today do we still have trouble believing women?

“They learn it today”, Healing trauma with Dr Tiff at Pacifica Congress, Adelaide. ” Dr Tiffany De Sousa Machado (Dr. Tiff), is one of Australia's leading experts in wellbeing, postpartum health and corporate wellness. Healing intergenerational trauma. When parents are learning skills at the same time as teaching their children. Unique approach that integrates Eastern approaches. Mind, body and spiritual approaches. How to be empowered in your own healing. Emotional regulation. “Combining the science and the spiritual." Working with both clients and family lawyers. Personal empowerment, choice and mindset. What are boundaries, how to communicate these and how to maintain a boundary.

“The Third Party” - Clare Rowe & Chanel Hughes Importance of in between chats at conferences. Child inclusive mediation. What it is, different approaches. Bringing the child’s experiences, views into mediation via a child consultant. Including the views of children. Clare: “Not everyone can jump into that space and sit with a 6 year old.” A child consultant must be qualified and an expert in this. It should not become an investigative interview. Children should not be put in inappropriate or high pressure situations. Allowing the child to have a voice but not the ultimate choice. Different methodologies for child inclusive mediation. Clare: “The third party is the voice and experience of the child. The child’s views and narratives are brought into the room through the child consultant.”

"The Hidden People", discussing keeping the focus on children in family law with Jackie Brady at Pacifica Congress, Adelaide. Jackie is the Executive Director at Family and Relationships Services Australia. Sponsors of Pacifica Congress and why sponsor. How to keep children front and centre in the family law process. The forgotten people. Jackie talks about the importance of child inclusive mediation where possible and her view it should be an “opt out” rather than “opt in” process. I.e assumption is child inclusive mediation. Jackie says “it is light a lightbulb moment for many parents”. Working with children families and communities . Families change. Children change. Jackie suggest family lawyers consider getting to know their local centre. Each centre offers slightly different services. Sponsorship of Pacifica Congress. Note that of those separating 6% go to lawyers, 10% to Family and Relationships Services Australia. Supporting children after separation program. Family and Relationships Services Australia includes…. Relationships Australia, Uniting, Interrelate, Catholic Care, Anglicare and other stand alone type services.

Prof BRUCE SMYTH – Bruce comes from a data analyst perspective. Children's between home transitions. "The in between space" third space as a “floating space.” Moving people, objects, locations. How can we make the transition easy gentle, smooth and safe. Children don't witness conflict, they experience it and internalise. Bruce says “People think changeover is just an A to B move but really they signify belonging and identity, stability.” How do we make transitions work for children. Backpacks and how children move belongings. Horror stories around clothes and how they become weaponised in some way. Lateness etc. McDonalds Changeovers. Out of front of house changeovers. Preparing to leave.

Why Parker Coles Curtis are sponsoring this Conference. Moving beyond the terminology of “alienation” or “estrangement”. “Resist and refuse to attend.” Importance of early therapeutic intervention. “Finding out why” a child is refusing to see a parent rather than assuming. “Language totally matters.”

The Honourable Simon Moncrieff & Zoë Durand talk candidly at The 2025 Pacifica Congress Conference in Adelaide APRA complaints. What makes a good Family Report? Potential idea of a statement of agreed facts to experts. Talking across disciplines at conferences. Resourcing. Caution when using AI in family law. His Honour’s views regarding the value of “Actual Intelligence”.

Neurodivergence in family law. Both clients and practitioners. How to move from othering neurodivergence to it being more seen and open in family law. Wellness in family law.

Beyond the dichotomy of alienation and estrangement. A must listen for lawyers with matters where a child is rejecting a parent. And also compassionate problem solving approaches in family law.

Challenging valuations and value to owner valuations.

Launch event of the film with filmmaker Zoe Durand interviewed by Clare Rowe Launch event of the film with filmmaker Zoe Durand interviewed by Clare Rowe and also featuring Stephen Foley (Legal Ready), Anthony Marchese (Marchese Property Valuations), Katrene Halteh (Urban Family Lawyers), Anthony Strik (barrister), Roey Balbus (OperationsX), Naomi Ives (OurFamilyWizard) hosted at Clarence.

"A foundation of kindness" - Perpetua Kish on kindness in law at the 2024 FLENA conference. Reach Perpetua Kish at https://www.thekindlawyers.com/perpetua-kish Find out about FLENA at https://familylawedu.com.au/ Reach interviewer Zoe Durand at www.mediationanswers.com.au

"Level the playing field" - Jack O'Donnell on funding in family law matters and their latest survey results at the 2024 FLENA conference. Reach Jack O'Donnell https://justfund.com.au/about-us/ Find out about FLENA at https://familylawedu.com.au/ Reach interviewer Zoe Durand at www.mediationanswers.com.au

"Intelligent questions" Paul Psaltis on how clients providing information actually is the beginning of engagement at the 2024 FLENA conference. Reach Paul Psaltis https://settify.com/our-team/ Find out about FLENA at https://familylawedu.com.au/ Reach interviewer Zoe Durand at www.mediationanswers.com.au

"How that might impact their children" - Laura Donnelly on social media at the 2024 FLENA conference. Reach Laura Donnelly at https://www.holmesdonnelly.com.au/who-we-are/laura-donnelly/ Find out about FLENA at https://familylawedu.com.au/ Reach interviewer Zoe Durand at www.mediationanswers.com.au